...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
