Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
