...so i touched it.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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