2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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