Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
