Define "chronic" masturbator.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
