and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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