I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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