he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
