3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
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