we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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