Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
