he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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