I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
