she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
