she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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