only if we run a train.
done.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
