Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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