He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
