I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
