I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
