I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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