Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
