I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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