love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
