My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
