I am in a vortex of obligation.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm like, not good at living.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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