Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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