I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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