i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
