hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
