And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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