did you get engaged???
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Randomize
