Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
