can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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