I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
