you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
