I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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