their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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