Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
