just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
