I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
