Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
