Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
