We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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