I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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