I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
