Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
