yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
