Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
