I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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